My blog have been dead for a good 2 months already. Well i don't know what to blog about anyway and nobody read it. Haha.... My life cycle now is pretty much the same didn't change much although now i am in college right know. The fact is now that A levels is much more harder than SPM. It is really a lot harder. I have to also be high gear or not i will be left out form the subject i am taking. Currently i am taking 3 science subjects and one maths plus General Paper and also Malaysian Studies. Thank god i don't have to take Malaysian Studies next semester. Recently have people say i am getting more blur lately. I also feel that way but i don't know why. Maybe it is because there are many things running through my mind at once or maybe i am thinking too much. All that i know that if a certain topic arises like..... i will think back about my pass, back to that very moment. I don't know why. Could it be that i cannot truly forget about it? Or the scar this time is really too deep untill time really cannot recover the wound i have. The wound that was inflicted by a certain someone. However all i could say that i try to forget about it. Sometimes i do can forget about it but only a certain period. After that i will remember about it all over again. Especially when people talk about it. Saying i will tell her what you did. I will tell her that you are so bad. He cannot concentrate because he is thinking of her la.... He wont like this... cause he already got her. When people say these as i mention above i will start to dwell into the past and have flash backs on that moment. I have never have something so stuck into my head for so long.
This is also another funny thing about me. When i see a couple, i will have a feeling of envy and jealousy. I think it is because that i really could live a sweet life like that during that time. However i soon realise that what i desire is still a dream and it is still far from my reach. During that period, i also blame god. Why he couldn't give me that life when i had the change. Why take it away from me when it is so close to me? I can already feel it. Is it because i am not ready yet? Or is because i have done many bad things and this is your way of punishing me. Taking away my happiness who i think i have met my other half. Why is it so unfair.
As i am writing this down of course i am thinking back all the memories i had with her. The fun ones of course i will cherish it but the bitter ones i cant just forget about it. It seems that it comes in a package. There will be bitter and sweet ones. It wont be all sweet nor all bitter. This is life i presume, always balance. Every action have an equal and opposite reaction. It is really just so hard to forget about it. I always wonder what would it be like if we were still together or still communicating. Now i have completely lost contact with her. When i first heard the news, i was stunt. I went to sleep with a broken heart that cannot be seal up. Untill now it has not been completely seal up.
Well for now i will just try my best to forget about it. I will over flow my memory with happy moments untill my sadness washes away from me ^^
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