It really has been a stressful and busy week. With assignments due date coming to midterms, it was really hectic. In fact, I did not even get much sleep at all. Nevertheless, it is over and I finally have some time for myself. However the war is still not over yet. I still have loads of assignment to have to be completed and finals are just around the corner. Even for this midterm I don't think I would get any good results cause I kinda revise last minute but I can say that I did give it my very best on the very last minute possible. I am always procrastinating and honestly throughout my whole education life I never really did give my 100% effort when it comes to my studies.
Now since I have some free time to myself like finally.... Let me share a story. X)
Before that, I am actually amaze that I can actually relate the story that I am about to tell to the title of this post. It just suddenly pop out into my head and it kinda fit when you think about it.
The story goes like this:
Little did I know I ended up in this battlefield.
I was in the middle of the field looking upon the green carpet, I saw many men.
They were all pulling and pulling and pulling this one rope.
Attached at the center of the rope was this little red flag.
Everyone seems to be pulling this red flag towards them with all their strength and might.
Looking form far... It seems to be just an ordinary tug of war.
However as I move closer and closer this is no ordinary tug of war.
A rope usually has 2 ends but this rope has many ends and at each end there were was a person.
The person at each end was all pulling there hearts out just to grab this red flag.
Some gave up in the process and left the field...
Some gave up maybe cause of injury..
Some gave up maybe its just not worth their time and effort....
Some gave up cause they were ruled out by the referee.
Captivated by the red flag's beauty and charm, I too participated in this tug of war.
I tried pulling... but it the flag doesn't seems to be moving towards me.
Instead the flag is moving towards the opposite of me where this person stood heavily on the ground pulling.
Not wanting to loose, I pulled harder but yet again the flag still didn't moved.
At times I actually saw the flag moving towards me a little.
And that was enough to kept me going to pull harder and not to give up.
However little did I know, the flag was not actually moving and it was just a illusion.
My brain actually was playing tricks on me and that led to a big disappointment and frustration inside of me.
As time goes by, the flag is moving away little by little till I can see this huge gap between me and the flag.
With one last effort I decided to give it one more shot.
Since I can pulled the flag towards me, I will just hold my ground...
Plunge my feet into the soil and just ensure that the flag doesn't move any further.
I thought to myself... By doing so maybe the opposite will be tired and I will have a higher chance of winning.
Holding to my stance... I tried defending but it was still no good.
As I clenched my teeth...
squeezing all my strength left in me...
I still see the flag moving inch by inch away from me.
Suddenly... The whistle is blown by the referee.
Signifying the end of this competition. Although the flag has not reach his side.
It is decided by the referee that he is the winner since the flag is closes to him...
And continuing the game is useless since the winner is so clear at this stage.
With no choice, I just had to open my hands and let the rope slip through.
The pain and scar left during the game is real...
I can still see the red thick line of the rope burned into my hands.
Just seeing the scar of the rope is painfully enough.
Can you imagine the pained I felt if I move my hands?
As all of us know...
A game is a game. A winner has to be decided and there will always be losers.
Everyone wants to be number 1 cause no one will remember number 2 and 3.
As the winner is celebrating his victory.. I slowly walked down the field, back into reality.
I reflect upon my lost... I realized I have never won any of these games.
I came close once but I never won either.
Maybe I was unlucky..
Maybe I wasn't strong enough..
Maybe the field was slippery and I slip
Maybe the referee was bias...
Maybe... there are too many maybes.
As of today this boy is still awaiting for the day to turn into a man strong enough to win this game.
~THE END~
Nice story?
I don't know what is going through your minds after reading it.
But this is just me sharing my story which relates to Tug of War.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
HELPian
After reopening my blog lets start with a happy post....
After graduating from A levels I have found myself studying psychology at HELP.
Why did i chose psychology? well:
1.) My A levels results weren't really good enough for me to get into a med school
2.) Cause I am really interested in understanding the human mind and behavior
3.) Partly is because of my family and the way I was brought up.
So here I am now in my 1st year 2nd semester here in HELP as a psychology student.
Things could not have been better... Before this I thought I will end up in UTAR, Kampar to study psychology but my parents insisted me to study in HELP. To be honest up till now... I have never regretted studying in HELP University. There is still the tremendous workload, piles of journals to read, stressful assignments, strict APA formating, etc but I really do enjoy studying here in HELP.
I guess the main reason is that the people here in HELP are all awesome....
I have met great friends, company and also lectures here in HELP.
I am seriously enjoying every bit of my education here in HELP. Not to mention that I am also heavily involve in the clubs here in HELP. So far I have join Peer Support Group and have become a mentor, World Mental Health Day (WMHD), and also Child Development Psychology Club.
As you can see my Uni live isn't so dull unlike my pre U live in TARC. To be honest I never enjoyed studying in TARC.
So let me introduce some of the awesome people I have met in HELP and hang with:
1.) Annelise aka. Mong anne
She is always the blur type of person. Laughing her ass off. Despite all that she is a very warm and kind person which reminds all of us of our mother. Btw... she is very motherly like. Not to mention she is the boy magnet in Uni. Leave her there for a minute and you can see guys approaching her.
2.) Shivaani aka STB
The little internationlise indian girl who is always so energetic and cheerful. Loves do dance and shake her booty. She is a very cheerful and hyper person. Her positive energy will always make you want to be more alive. Btw... She has a soft spot for Taeyang!
3.) Lily aka Sprilly
A super Kpop fan girl just like me. She is very much into GD! from BigBang. A very cute girl indeed with her looks and always falls asleep in lectures. I have pictures of her sleeping that can be made into an album. Don't let her cuteness and sleepy head fooled you, she is a very romantic person indeed. A person to look for advice for love matters.
4.) Shi Qi aka TBS
Again another super blur person who is always late for classes. For once she will never failed not to look blur. Always gets lost in the middle of a conversations. In the end, random sentences starts coming out from her causing an outburst of laughter.
5.) Kavvish aka Bipolar
Kinda mean calling her that but I do have a reason for it. She seems to have a split personality sometimes. At one point she could be happily talking then suddenly she could get annoyed. Sounds scary right... But trust me you should meet her her before judging
6.) Keish
Known her when I was studying A levels. We were in the same class but didn't really talk much. More of a hi bye friend. Coincidentally she is also studying in psychology in HELP. In the process I have gotten much closer with her. She is another energetic person always smiling and loves to dance as well.
At this point you might be wondering why so far all girls... no boys. Well for your information in the psychology department majority of the students are females. Is a good thing isnt it? Can wash eye everyday. LOL!!!
Anyway.... moving on next is...
7.) Jin Wei
Its a he this time... A person who is really much will say anything that he thinks off in his brain. Really the in your face type of the person. But it is a good thing isnt it? At least he is always honest and don't hide anything. A very sarcastic person too... Always having a hard time telling if he is serious or joking. Despite all his meaness he is a good and kind person.
8.) Owen
The artistic person in the whole group. He really can draw! Why are you in psychology anyway? And did you know that he can bake! He always bakes and share his wonderful sweet creations with us. Such a nice person always feeding us with sweets. His wonderful creations are really to die for.
9.)Syameer
The only person who can laugh at the same frequency with me. Like seriously.... The joker among all of us. When we are together we tend to crack up jokes and our laughter will echo the whole entire room. A really nice and wise man hence he is much older than all of us. Haha!
10.) Ann
She would really be the loudest, most energetic, most cheerful and happy go lucky person I have ever met in my live. The funny thing is she is also ever so blur and has a poor sense of direction which make her cute. A true classification of a peacock. Like Annelise she is also a boy magnet and a huge one too. I will admit I have a soft spot for her and have a special place inside of me. >///<
Well... that really sums up the awesome people I hang out everyday in HELP.
Really love these people.... Last but not least of course there is me :
My name is Chee Meng aka as Jimmy or Cherry. They called me the sista in the group cause i looked and kinda acted like a girl. I get that a lot from people that I look like a girl. Always the person who smiles for no reason. A very outgoing person but can really be shy at sometimes. I consider myself to be a introvert but am learning to be more sociable. I came a long way from how I was used to be.
I shall end this post with a saying that I have also kept and follow....
Till this point I can say that it is a part of my principle...
"But the real way to get happiness. Its to give happiness to others"
by : BP
After graduating from A levels I have found myself studying psychology at HELP.
Why did i chose psychology? well:
1.) My A levels results weren't really good enough for me to get into a med school
2.) Cause I am really interested in understanding the human mind and behavior
3.) Partly is because of my family and the way I was brought up.
So here I am now in my 1st year 2nd semester here in HELP as a psychology student.
Things could not have been better... Before this I thought I will end up in UTAR, Kampar to study psychology but my parents insisted me to study in HELP. To be honest up till now... I have never regretted studying in HELP University. There is still the tremendous workload, piles of journals to read, stressful assignments, strict APA formating, etc but I really do enjoy studying here in HELP.
I guess the main reason is that the people here in HELP are all awesome....
I have met great friends, company and also lectures here in HELP.
I am seriously enjoying every bit of my education here in HELP. Not to mention that I am also heavily involve in the clubs here in HELP. So far I have join Peer Support Group and have become a mentor, World Mental Health Day (WMHD), and also Child Development Psychology Club.
As you can see my Uni live isn't so dull unlike my pre U live in TARC. To be honest I never enjoyed studying in TARC.
So let me introduce some of the awesome people I have met in HELP and hang with:
1.) Annelise aka. Mong anne
She is always the blur type of person. Laughing her ass off. Despite all that she is a very warm and kind person which reminds all of us of our mother. Btw... she is very motherly like. Not to mention she is the boy magnet in Uni. Leave her there for a minute and you can see guys approaching her.
2.) Shivaani aka STB
The little internationlise indian girl who is always so energetic and cheerful. Loves do dance and shake her booty. She is a very cheerful and hyper person. Her positive energy will always make you want to be more alive. Btw... She has a soft spot for Taeyang!
3.) Lily aka Sprilly
A super Kpop fan girl just like me. She is very much into GD! from BigBang. A very cute girl indeed with her looks and always falls asleep in lectures. I have pictures of her sleeping that can be made into an album. Don't let her cuteness and sleepy head fooled you, she is a very romantic person indeed. A person to look for advice for love matters.
4.) Shi Qi aka TBS
Again another super blur person who is always late for classes. For once she will never failed not to look blur. Always gets lost in the middle of a conversations. In the end, random sentences starts coming out from her causing an outburst of laughter.
5.) Kavvish aka Bipolar
Kinda mean calling her that but I do have a reason for it. She seems to have a split personality sometimes. At one point she could be happily talking then suddenly she could get annoyed. Sounds scary right... But trust me you should meet her her before judging
6.) Keish
Known her when I was studying A levels. We were in the same class but didn't really talk much. More of a hi bye friend. Coincidentally she is also studying in psychology in HELP. In the process I have gotten much closer with her. She is another energetic person always smiling and loves to dance as well.
At this point you might be wondering why so far all girls... no boys. Well for your information in the psychology department majority of the students are females. Is a good thing isnt it? Can wash eye everyday. LOL!!!
Anyway.... moving on next is...
7.) Jin Wei
Its a he this time... A person who is really much will say anything that he thinks off in his brain. Really the in your face type of the person. But it is a good thing isnt it? At least he is always honest and don't hide anything. A very sarcastic person too... Always having a hard time telling if he is serious or joking. Despite all his meaness he is a good and kind person.
8.) Owen
The artistic person in the whole group. He really can draw! Why are you in psychology anyway? And did you know that he can bake! He always bakes and share his wonderful sweet creations with us. Such a nice person always feeding us with sweets. His wonderful creations are really to die for.
9.)Syameer
The only person who can laugh at the same frequency with me. Like seriously.... The joker among all of us. When we are together we tend to crack up jokes and our laughter will echo the whole entire room. A really nice and wise man hence he is much older than all of us. Haha!
10.) Ann
She would really be the loudest, most energetic, most cheerful and happy go lucky person I have ever met in my live. The funny thing is she is also ever so blur and has a poor sense of direction which make her cute. A true classification of a peacock. Like Annelise she is also a boy magnet and a huge one too. I will admit I have a soft spot for her and have a special place inside of me. >///<
Well... that really sums up the awesome people I hang out everyday in HELP.
Really love these people.... Last but not least of course there is me :
My name is Chee Meng aka as Jimmy or Cherry. They called me the sista in the group cause i looked and kinda acted like a girl. I get that a lot from people that I look like a girl. Always the person who smiles for no reason. A very outgoing person but can really be shy at sometimes. I consider myself to be a introvert but am learning to be more sociable. I came a long way from how I was used to be.
I shall end this post with a saying that I have also kept and follow....
Till this point I can say that it is a part of my principle...
"But the real way to get happiness. Its to give happiness to others"
by : BP
Reopening My Blog
Its has been a really long time since i updated my blog. It is certain very dead now. I have not been updating cause I did not have the motivation to do so and I kinda lost my passion to blog.
Having said so... I would like to reopen to blog. YAY!!! *Applause*
Well the reason for this is... cause as you know when you just have so much pent up inside you. You will just wanna let it out. But who to let it out has always been an issue.
I find it kinda hard to open my feelings to others even to my close friends.
So I hope this blog of my can be my ears always listening.
Secondly, this serve as a purpose of self reflection. As a psychology student I have learnt that self reflection is actually very beneficial in many ways. However after going through a session of self reflection it is equally important to confront it and to voice it out as well.
Don't get it wrong that self reflection means that I am going into an emo state and crying over the place.
NO!!! this is a healthy self reflection for self development and self actualization.
Then does that means all my future blog post will be full of emo and sad stuff?
Well.... I cant promise that my blog is a happy all rainbow and sunshine place.
I will try my best not to make it so sad la... Although i have a feeling that the majority of the post will be kinda sad and emotional after all I am quite an emotional person.
With this I shall officiate and reborn my blog!
*Cut ribbon*
Having said so... I would like to reopen to blog. YAY!!! *Applause*
Well the reason for this is... cause as you know when you just have so much pent up inside you. You will just wanna let it out. But who to let it out has always been an issue.
I find it kinda hard to open my feelings to others even to my close friends.
So I hope this blog of my can be my ears always listening.
Secondly, this serve as a purpose of self reflection. As a psychology student I have learnt that self reflection is actually very beneficial in many ways. However after going through a session of self reflection it is equally important to confront it and to voice it out as well.
Don't get it wrong that self reflection means that I am going into an emo state and crying over the place.
NO!!! this is a healthy self reflection for self development and self actualization.
Then does that means all my future blog post will be full of emo and sad stuff?
Well.... I cant promise that my blog is a happy all rainbow and sunshine place.
I will try my best not to make it so sad la... Although i have a feeling that the majority of the post will be kinda sad and emotional after all I am quite an emotional person.
With this I shall officiate and reborn my blog!
*Cut ribbon*
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Embracing Hatred...
Revenge... Hate... Vengeance... Revenge
The world now is full of it. People hating other people for what they have done. People seeking opportunity to seek revenge and payback. How is the world going to be peaceful if the living people embraces such value? All they see and think of is how am I gonna get back the person I hate or have hurt me? What do people don't see that there is a cycle in this matter.
For example, there is a person you really hate and you want to seek revenge for what he/she did.
You found the prefect opportunity and execute it. Now you feel happy and satisfied. You will be laughing inside saying he/she deserved that. As for the victim, he or she now would like to take revenge for what you have did and the cycle goes on and on and on. Its a never ending process! You hate me and I hating you back!
Is like I slap you and you slapping back! By the time you know it, It has turn into a never ending hatred you have for a person. Plotting scheme everyday just to see that person cry and suffer. What for? Are you really happy torturing people? Seeing people cry and getting their happiness shattered into bits and pieces?
What if all these happen to you.
Even if a person did something wrong towards you, why must we choose hate and seek revenge? Why the people has never think of forgiveness? The fist doesn't always solve problems. Yelling and shouting doesn't solve anything in live. If people keep hating people, the cycles continue and it will become a chain reaction. The hate will spread towards others and they too will become victim of our actions. Its just like war. You bomb my country, I bomb yours as well. In the end the citizens suffer because of our actions. We are clouded with all this hatred. It goes on and the war never stops. People crying in agony and pain, loosing their loved ones. They too blame the people who did this and start to HATE!
It really is a never ending process if you all can picture it. However, how many people can hold their fist in their pockets if a person hit you. Easier said than done. If you can, you are playing a great role to reduce hatred. I think even the person who hit you will be surprise why you didn't hit back. You can be angry but don't hate. At least we can be a rational and civil minded person in live.
The world now is full of it. People hating other people for what they have done. People seeking opportunity to seek revenge and payback. How is the world going to be peaceful if the living people embraces such value? All they see and think of is how am I gonna get back the person I hate or have hurt me? What do people don't see that there is a cycle in this matter.
For example, there is a person you really hate and you want to seek revenge for what he/she did.
You found the prefect opportunity and execute it. Now you feel happy and satisfied. You will be laughing inside saying he/she deserved that. As for the victim, he or she now would like to take revenge for what you have did and the cycle goes on and on and on. Its a never ending process! You hate me and I hating you back!
Is like I slap you and you slapping back! By the time you know it, It has turn into a never ending hatred you have for a person. Plotting scheme everyday just to see that person cry and suffer. What for? Are you really happy torturing people? Seeing people cry and getting their happiness shattered into bits and pieces?
What if all these happen to you.
Even if a person did something wrong towards you, why must we choose hate and seek revenge? Why the people has never think of forgiveness? The fist doesn't always solve problems. Yelling and shouting doesn't solve anything in live. If people keep hating people, the cycles continue and it will become a chain reaction. The hate will spread towards others and they too will become victim of our actions. Its just like war. You bomb my country, I bomb yours as well. In the end the citizens suffer because of our actions. We are clouded with all this hatred. It goes on and the war never stops. People crying in agony and pain, loosing their loved ones. They too blame the people who did this and start to HATE!
It really is a never ending process if you all can picture it. However, how many people can hold their fist in their pockets if a person hit you. Easier said than done. If you can, you are playing a great role to reduce hatred. I think even the person who hit you will be surprise why you didn't hit back. You can be angry but don't hate. At least we can be a rational and civil minded person in live.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
You Are The Apple Of My Eye.
In the year 2011 I watched a movie with a friend of mine called "The Apple Of My Eye"
It was a great movie and was very nostalgic. It brings back many fond, happy and sad memories when i was still a high school-er. This movie revolves around a group of friends from a class on how they grew up with each other and till the day one of them get married. (Don't want to give too much spoilers though) Its a comedy romance film that I am sure it would be enjoyed by teens and adults. After watching this film i have recalled many memories back up till now i am still thinking about it. This film really have an impact on me. It reminds me the good times I had with my friends in school. How we use to be CHILDISH and make a fool of one another and laugh till our stomach ache or untill or jaw turns sore. There were tears but those were tears of joy from laughter. I really miss those days. I can now that it is impossible to go back to those time when you are in this age and when you are in college. Running around class. Disturbing people. Getting caught from doing something wrong together. Best of all is you are doing it with a group of friends who care about each other.
Then this story also reminds me of my love life. YES my love life. As a high school-er I also fell in love with a certain girl who is in the same class with me. I was so naive back then when i said to myself that i would not fall in love someone when i am in high school. I said to myself that this will only happen after i finish my education. But who can resist the power of the cupids arrow? Although I have failed not once but twice I don't regret doing so cause I know my feelings for her is true. Even though I didn't make the cut we are now great friends. =)
At least there were no awkward moments and we were both grateful that it didn't happen. We still keep in touch and hang out. The beauty to it is how many people can reach to that state after doing so. For that I am truly grateful and she is too. I mad silly mistake on the way too and I am too embarrassed to talk about it here but its a process of learning. I wont be seeing her for awhile now cause she has fly to the states to further her education for about 2 years. The whole gang will miss her very much. Hope she come back with a white. LOL
To those who haven't watch this movie yet, go watch it. Its really an awesome movie. I can guarantee you wont regret it.
Lastly.....
Then this story also reminds me of my love life. YES my love life. As a high school-er I also fell in love with a certain girl who is in the same class with me. I was so naive back then when i said to myself that i would not fall in love someone when i am in high school. I said to myself that this will only happen after i finish my education. But who can resist the power of the cupids arrow? Although I have failed not once but twice I don't regret doing so cause I know my feelings for her is true. Even though I didn't make the cut we are now great friends. =)
At least there were no awkward moments and we were both grateful that it didn't happen. We still keep in touch and hang out. The beauty to it is how many people can reach to that state after doing so. For that I am truly grateful and she is too. I mad silly mistake on the way too and I am too embarrassed to talk about it here but its a process of learning. I wont be seeing her for awhile now cause she has fly to the states to further her education for about 2 years. The whole gang will miss her very much. Hope she come back with a white. LOL
To those who haven't watch this movie yet, go watch it. Its really an awesome movie. I can guarantee you wont regret it.
Lastly.....
I might have to wait, I'll Never give up
I guess its half timing and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever its right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life
Michael Buble's I haven't Met You yet.
I think most of you can guess what that means and why I wrote it down.
I am still wondering that do anyone read my blog.
Readers or no readers this is just a place for me to express myself and my feelings as I don't have anyone to express to. Sad isn't it?
Stay tuned as the next post is coming soon shortly. Happy 2012 everyone.
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