Karma...

Do you all believe in karma? Well i do. It is said that if you do good you will be bless and if u do bad things you will be punish for your sinful act. However lately i am loosing to this believe. I think no matter how good that person is, he or she will also have the same blessing as the ones who have done bad. So in that case why do we still need to hold on to this believe? Since no matter how good or bad you are, you are still the same. There are too much injustice in this world.

Some people say that is not that you are not bless is just that the time have not come.
Be patient and the time will come one day.
Somehow........ Somewhere.
There are too little good people in this world.
Don't let this believe form being engulf by the modern age today.

Useless....

I didn't blog for a very long time cause got exams. Well my exams are going quite well i think but better than i expected. For i am sure that i flung my history paper. I don't have a single clue what am i writing at all. Well i feel that i am a useless person. I don't dare to emit something cause for a reason of course. Is not something bad. I didn't commit any crime or any wrong doing. When people ask me i will answer no, is not true but the fact its actually true. I don't want to emit it cause i am afraid that people might talk about it and tease about that matter and i end up making someone loosing their dignity and happiness. People are already talking about it. If they know about it i think the matter will be worst. They will be all around me non stop, not leaving any air for me to brief.

So i will keep it to myself to the very end and will not anyone to know about it. All i can do is just let what other people like to say. I can't control what they say, a person can only pretend not to hear it or endure it. Only a number of people know about it as i trust them as my friends.

I fell so useless ,i couldn't admit it. It just shows that i don't care about it or take that matter lightly, but i do care..... really..... Is just that i have my reasons.

131=_ _ _ ...

I didn't feel like doing it but i have no choice cause the longer it gets the more trouble it will get. I know how it feels cause i have been through it both conducting it and being apart letting all the voices blast through you. I know it is not easy to accept it in this way but you lead me no choice. I also know that some will not agree in what had been said when it happen. During it happen, i flash back to the past when i was in there in your shoes...... visualising that moment. It was a very stressful event. Then i see faces of regret,sad and sorrow among them. I having a thought that someone may tear down. Thank god no...

I did it for the best of you all and to prevent an even bigger event like this that i have been through. I all of you have something that you all still not satisfied i hope you voice out to me and not go backstabbing around....

Letting Go...

I have no choice but to let go what i am currently doing. I cannot endure it anymore. The stress is just to much and unbearable. I really want to continue doing it until the end but, i guess there is just to many pressure form every aspect i am trying to do. I wish i can finish what i have started but it seem like i cant. I know that i will let some of the people down and they will think of me as an irresponsible person, but if i don't act like this i will go to a state where i will have to take medications and my future now is hanging on a thread. Everything in life sacrifices have to be made to accomplish something you need to.

I am also letting go cause i don't think i am doing a good job at it. I don't know why i felt that way. I am not doing my job properly and i think is meaningless for me to continue holding on to it. It is best to let someone who really want to do it and have the passion to do so. I am not capable on doing so anymore. I am tired and i want to focus on other aspects in my life.

I am truly sorry that i let all of you down. I have no choice but to do it. I have think over it for a very long time. I just cant take it anymore.
I am very sorry...... I truly wish to continue but i just don't know how.
I guess this is life. It is just so hard to find that point of balance in every thing you are trying to do. Sacrifices have to be made.... I hope you all can accept it.

I wish for a broader shoulders, not a lighter burden....